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A friend recently got in touch asking for advice on something he was struggling with. Life wasn’t going his way. He had reached middle age and had lots of fun along the way but now everything seemed empty. He was troubled by what’s ahead and wanted to make a change. He sensed I might help because I had broken off our friends group some time ago and had gone on a different life trajectory. I could see he yearned to be in a more peaceful state, he was tired of the constant race for more, more contradictory desires and ever-changing goal posts of the usual pleasure-seeking life. When I started to share my thoughts, he quickly offered a caveat: “But I don’t want to become like you,” he said. I chuckled a little but then wondered what he meant. What was I like in his mind? Perhaps he saw me as someone who had given up all the good things in life, the usual social games and the luxuries, toys for grow-ups that we played with. So mostly, he didn’t want to become “boring” like me.
Our conversation made me wonder how I may have outgrown some desires, but others have quickly taken their place. The context might have changed but the underlying system of unending wants and needs remains active. Perhaps I have been granted more of an awareness now so I can work on, witness, and then ultimately entrust these matters to the Divine. In that process some habitual patterns gradually lose their influence. So what advice can I really offer my friend?
I thought about how little a choice we have in the habitual patterns that drive us. When life circumstances bring us to the verge of breaking out of those patterns, to submit, fears prevent us from taking a step forward. Fear of social ostracization, financial worries, even fear of missing out on the dunya, keep us locked in the prison of an illusory freedom.
We have been shown a way out of this prison. The prophets have a key, and the saints bring us a map. As Mevlana reminds us:
God said, “Don’t consider
whether you’re up a tree or in a hole:
consider Me, for I am the Key of the Way.”
[Ghazel, The Pocket Rumi, trans. Helminski]
The saints awaken us to a time before time when we heard the call of Alast, “Am I not your Lord?”(Quran 7:172). The call of alast is also calling us today. How we choose to live, every decision we make, every choice we are confronted with is a sign, asking “Am I not your Lord?”. How do we respond? It is our actions, our way of life that responds to that question every moment. Does our way of life correspond with a Yes?
Our life answers the call of alast with the extent of our submission to Him. The extent of our submission to Him is the extent of our freedom from our habitual patterns and egoic tendencies.
Submission is to live for one’s Self. The eternal “I” not for one’s ego.
[Living Presence, Helminski]
Becoming embodied beings our memory of the call of alast may have faded, yet the signal from the Divine is still tirelessly calling us in the background. It is the beating of our heart, the rhythm of our breath. It says, “Remember me, I remember you” (Quran 2:152). This remembrance is our gateway to freedom. Rhythm is change, signifies the world of time and our breath is a portal out of the world of time. Timelessness is calling us, saying come, t’aalu (Quran 4:61).
When we direct our attention to our breath, a subconscious process becomes conscious. Breathing consciously, perhaps with zikr, we are in remembrance. Rather than being dispersed, blown here and there by unconscious processes, our attention becomes refined and receptive to Divine intelligence. The world of senses that blocked our view before gives way to higher perception.
In silence we hear the voice within, the scent of spirit calls from within us--the “fragrance” that was so beloved to our Prophet. We see with the “light” of God, our purified conscious awareness. The actions that originate from such a consciousness are naturally aligned and in harmony with the Universe. We become the vehicle through which the Divine makes its good work manifest in the world, “the hand through which He acts” (Hadith Qudsi).
As we spend more time in conscious awareness, we become more familiar with that Reality; as we start to know that Reality, our heart feels an intimate tenderness toward it. Gratitude takes hold in our heart. How beautiful the Reality that had been calling and guiding us all along. When we know that Reality we can’t help but be in praise. The “hidden treasure” is making itself known and we fall in love the more we know it. As we keep submitting at each unveiling, gratitude gives way to praise, praise turns to love and worship.
Worship (ibadah) is ultimately to be in servanthood or submission (ubudia). We may now realize for ourselves the Quranic ayat:
Witness, the only religion with God is self-surrender.
[Quran, 3:16, trans. Helminski]
But I didn’t tell all this to my friend. We talked about toys instead. I said one can lead a normal life on the path and if one gives up anything it’s because of love of something greater, nothing is forced upon us. As a child we don’t want to entertain the thought of giving up our toys--ever, but as we mature it’s only natural to do so. It’s not because we don’t like toys anymore but because we love real life more. Seeing beautiful realities unfold, we can’t help but give up what we previously held dear.
~ Umair is a traveler on the path. He enjoys writing, reading the Masnavi with friends and hiking the Margalla Hills in Islamabad. |
