Spiritual conversation (sohbet) with Shaikh Kabir and Camille Helminski on 1/26/08
“There are lots of reasons for fear and certainly I could imagine a person faces a situation/choices and has undertaken a lot of big things and then, because the mind— because of trying to make all the right choices with the mind, one finds oneself in a state of fear. Everything can be turned, everything can become a good. Sin can lead to virtue. Fear can lead to something beyond fear. So everything is ultimately a mercy. The question is, how will we live, putting it into a spiritual metaphysics? How will we best manifest spirit in this world? Does fear serve that or is fear an obstacle that we will eventually need to learn how to put behind us?
I think we have many examples. One thing that might help would be to try to envision someone—a prophet or a saint—doing these great tasks. How would they do them? How would Mohammed tackle something big? How would Ali, how would Aisha, how would a person of wisdom move through this? And then, we look at ourselves. We look at ourselves objectively. It’s just so important to observe—how am I doing it? How am I getting there? Maybe there’s another way to move forward, to live.
It’s my own experience when I am functioning better than worse, I am living more from intuition and I’m moving forward, I’m making choices from an inner knowing. And, sometimes, the opposite of that is getting in my head, getting confused— “I’m not sure what is the choice?” Especially getting further out there like, “Gee, what am I going to do next week if such-and-such happens?” And “God, what about two years from now? What if …what if the economy… blah, blah blah… and health… and I don’t know and nobody respects me anymore… and, you know, God, what will I do then [laughter]?”
There is now. What am I listening to right now? What am I following right now? Is there room for fear in that? Really, I don’t think there’s room for fear in that, immediate, really listening. So when I observe in myself, I think it’s the thinking mind or the conflicting emotions that contribute to the fears. It’s how it looks to me.
So, we all have our lives, we all get involved with responsibilities, we all have jobs, challenges, and we’re out in a world that doesn’t necessarily understand what we’re doing here right now, for instance. I’ve just been out in that world for a couple of days and how wonderful it is to have the spiritual connection there, to know that I can return to that Trust. I can return to that Connectedness. Something in me knows that, and I can venture out into the world where I am in relationship and undertaking responsibilities and dealing with problems, dealing with fears.
There is something beyond time and space, that is timeless, indestructible, unconditioned. It sounds abstract but it’s not. It’s not an abstraction, it’s not a mental thing. It’s not a mental, abstract proposition. It’s a reality that we come to know and trust more and more. And, we come to trust it so much that if we were to die in the next minute, we would say, “OK, what’s next?” “And then what?” “OK, I die and then what?” It’s that matter of fact. Living in spirit is that matter of fact.
So it’s not a matter of, “Are things going to turn out alright?” In one sense, they are alright in the unconditioned, from the true respective of reality. Maybe it takes a descent sometimes into suffering to know that. Even in suffering you’re alright, it is alright, you’re alright. I can get through this because my faith and practice have prepared me for this and because this, in this moment, whatever the hell it is, in this moment, this is my practice. This is what is. This is it. And, whatever it is, there is simultaneously that reality that is unconditioned and Infinitely Compassionate, it is the Rahman, it is the Rahim. There are people who have been tortured who know that. And then there are people who have every reason to be in utter gratitude who don’t know that. People who have everything a human being could possibly need or want and they don’t know that.
So, that’s why it can be said: one thing you’re not allowed on the dervish path is fear. You know, my teacher didn’t say—he didn’t moralize—he didn’t say one thing you must never do is… and name some moral proposition like you must never…whatever. He said, ‘‘One thing you’re not allowed is fear.”
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